• queerport

Dear Diary: To Tell the Truth

Dear Diary,

I just finished the third season opener of The Crown (a bit behind, I know). I'm left wondering where lies my truth? It's been an ongoing theme in my personal life as of late, showing up in books, on Netflix, so what is the universe trying to say here?

My life is relatively simple, but sometimes I feel like I am living a double life. I placate parts of my family to keep the peace. Which, to me, feels unethical. It's not that I'm not out of the closet to my family, I'm just the black sheep. So, this time of year, I am left drained by the end of it. I wonder if this is the year I draw a line in the sand? I can do it on the internet because anonymity is like a good tequila shooter. Why is it so hard to do that with the ones we love? This isn't 1999 anymore. We face far more challenges than I ever thought about.

I feel ripped apart when I try to speak to my father and he only wants to prove his point. Where is compassion? Where is the reasoning? Why is everything so black and white? I realize this is short, but I'm in the right state. I have the Seven of Cups in front of me — I guess it's time to pick one.



Dear Diary is an ongoing identity series published weekly on Fridays by Raven Farmer. Raven currently lives in Benton, Louisiana and is striving to find the balance between paganism, queerness, motherhood, and wifehood.